|
Post by Fredo on Aug 26, 2008 8:17:12 GMT -5
Split from: SpankingFYI folks, Dr. Spock has been discredited for years. Even he doesn't believe that stuff any longer. Believe what stuff? ... like when to switch to solid foods.. or the right age to potty train? Btw, Dr. Spock has been pushing up daisies for 10 yrs or longer. Spock was the one who inflicted the ideas of child centered parenting upon the world. Every time you see a parent negotiating with her little cherub instead of instructing him, that's Spock at work. Every news item about not building self esteem by insulating children from failure has it's roots in Spock's work. He is an anachronism from the peace, love dope generation and is rightly approaching the dust bin of history.
|
|
|
Post by manlyman on Aug 26, 2008 9:03:40 GMT -5
"the peace, love dope generation"
I grew up in that time period. And I rather enjoyed myself .......... At least I think I remember enjoying myself ;D
|
|
|
Post by slobberchops on Aug 26, 2008 9:41:56 GMT -5
Fredo.. In my years of experience with our 3 kids. This is the conclusion I've made. No child is alike, each have their own temperament. Thats why -- what works for some (reasoning to spankings or time-outs.) wont work for others. It's up to the parents to figure out in the early stages of what works or brings out the best in YOUR child's temperament. But if your kid spends much of it's younger years occupationally orphaned.. (as one of mine did) ..it takes more time and is little more difficult to discern. The first 3 years of life are the most crucial time to spend with a parent (full-time!) IMO. I cant help but feel the break-down of the family unit is based on this. (not the government, not society but it's our own doings) When women started working away from the home for whatever reasons.. self-gratitude or financial. Right after the child's born, 6weeks later... off goes baby. The bond can be somewhat strained. And then, --- if your a SELFISH person, working all the time with not a lot of parenting skills, who really thinks parents are only for, providing clothes shelter and food... then who suffers from this? we the people and most of all the child. (look at the statistics - and time span in regards to the shift in family problems in relation to society as a whole. I know.. I'm going to get roasted for saying this. But it's my truth. But, most parents just cave. Food, shelter housing and punishment. Thats all, thats it! -- It's the easiest. And spankings or threats -- for sure is the quickest way to get results. I'm not saying one is right over the other. I've spanked my children. (not very often--- only when they've done something to either cause SERIOUS harm to another person, themselves or property.) My first, yes reasoning worked, my second - spankings/threats work - and my 3rd... well, thats a whole different issue. I'm not sure if it's a girl thing or what cause I'm having one dandy of a time trying to figure that little super-being out! *snicker snickers You can not raise a child like you raise cattle. *go ahead, all you working moms out there... gather the sticks to roast me. I'm not knocking you, because I know the toughest decision is to place your baby in the care of another while you labor to earn a living. Been there done it.. even suffered a few panic/anxiety attacks. I feel ya! Now.. I'm begging to go back to work outside the home. This is way harder than working outside the home paying someone else to do it for me. (seriously)
|
|
|
Post by slobberchops on Aug 26, 2008 9:44:51 GMT -5
Split from: SpankingBelieve what stuff? ... like when to switch to solid foods.. or the right age to potty train? Btw, Dr. Spock has been pushing up daisies for 10 yrs or longer. Spock was the one who inflicted the ideas of child centered parenting upon the world. Every time you see a parent negotiating with her little cherub instead of instructing him, that's Spock at work. Every news item about not building self esteem by insulating children from failure has it's roots in Spock's work. He is an anachronism from the peace, love dope generation and is rightly approaching the dust bin of history. Fredo... Dr. B. Spock wrote Baby and Child Care back in the 1940's. How the hell you get 1960's tote master, beat-nic from that is beyond me. *modified to add -- I know what I'm passing down to you at the HS reunion.. *muwahahaha Pay no mind to the half eaten pages . those probably werent important any way. LMAO!!
|
|
|
Post by AP Mommy on Aug 26, 2008 11:11:25 GMT -5
If you don't parent centered on the child, who should you center on? Yourself or the family dog? The random strangers in the grocery store that roll their eyes because your kids are whining about not getting their favorite cereal after they didn't follow the rules of publicly acceptable behavior? I'd think seeing a parent enforce the rules would be worth a few minutes of whining to know they aren't one of 'those parents' that indulge every whim but it seems that's not the way it is. There isn't much outside support for creating solid citizens so instant gratification is the bargaining tool of parents who are intimidated by eye rolling strangers. I rarely give a shit so I tend to fight the battle today, knowing my kids will remember and respect the consequences tomorrow. PS – Registering would be a lot easier than posting as a guest. What are the benefits for becoming a member to share my words of wisdom?
|
|
|
Post by 502blue on Aug 26, 2008 11:33:01 GMT -5
PS – Registering would be a lot easier than posting as a guest. What are the benefits for becoming a member to share my words of wisdom?
You get a howling corner to blow off steam.
You get PM functions, which apparently allow you to talk about people, and then when you get mad, let those people know you talked about them in PMs
And you might, just MIGHT, get some Karma points for a little while ;D
|
|
|
Post by manlyman on Aug 26, 2008 12:13:15 GMT -5
PS – Registering would be a lot easier than posting as a guest. What are the benefits for becoming a member to share my words of wisdom? Try it, you'll like it!
|
|
|
Post by AP Mommy on Aug 26, 2008 12:32:59 GMT -5
But I don't usually talk about people behind their back and I treat my kids with respect so my karma should be good already.
|
|
|
Post by Fredo on Aug 26, 2008 12:33:19 GMT -5
PS – Registering would be a lot easier than posting as a guest. What are the benefits for becoming a member to share my words of wisdom? You get a howling corner to blow off steam. You get PM functions, which apparently allow you to talk about people, and then when you get mad, let those people know you talked about them in PMs And you might, just MIGHT, get some Karma points for a little while ;D You also get a free toaster oven... you just pay a small shipping and handling fee.
|
|
|
Post by Fredo on Aug 26, 2008 12:37:38 GMT -5
If you don’t parent centered on the child, who should you center on? Um... the family. If we center our lives on our families and show a child how to live withing that family unit, don't you think it would work out a lot better than being focused on little Hunter's feelings and needs? He's only one part of the unit and that part is not at the center. The sooner they learn that the axis of the planet does not run through their heads the better off they will be. Putting the kids first has given us a generation of thin skinned, poorly motivated crybabies. Don't believe it? Go try to hire someone to do some actual work.
|
|
|
Post by 502blue on Aug 26, 2008 12:44:17 GMT -5
Watch Super Nanny, you will see all about "centering" on the child and not the family as a whole...................................whew
|
|
|
Post by sugarcane on Aug 26, 2008 20:21:00 GMT -5
AP Mommy, the Howling Corner is for you. As to Spock, I think there are good things and bad things in his advice. He was certainly on the hippy side which is why Fredo probably doesn't like him.
|
|
|
Post by slobberchops on Aug 26, 2008 23:26:10 GMT -5
I'm not familiar with the term: "parent center". Is that from Dr. Spock. Who I would like to reiterate wrote his best selling book back in 1946. Was there hippies in 1946? Maybe that came after the kids had grown and gone on to college. But I do think adding responsibilities, honoring commitments and accountability against obligations revolves around a child's needs. Spanking maybe one way to get the desired affect. But it has to be something really bad before I would spank. I think having a child to tell you why they're being punished is most effective. Of course.-- then follow through. Shoot!- half the time... my used to get it screwed up. ;D Sometimes it was even comical. And, I couldn't imagine just hitting them... and letting it go at that.
|
|