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Post by raphael on May 8, 2009 9:21:12 GMT -5
Well dern it that's the situation going on in this household. She still lives with us. Been a good kid. Just completed 2nd year of college. Her boyfriend just moved out two days ago and last night she didn't return home. The biggest fear here is she's making one BIG mistake. I'm also of the belief that this isn't the first time since we are trusting souls and believe when she says she has been going to girlfriends to spend the night that she's been sleeping with him one way or another. My wife doesn't want to do or say anything for fear she will move out and ruin her college. Me on the other hand I want to raise mortal hell. Oh what to do or what to say! What would you do or say?
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Post by 502blue on May 8, 2009 9:32:49 GMT -5
Raph, she's 20. It was bound to happen. Best advice I can give is this. Make sure she is taking birth control, and tell her above all to still use condoms. We give in to our animal side sooner or later. I am taking the same steps with my soon to be going off to college daughter. She's 18, we've had the talk. She's prepared, overly, if anything. Can't keep sex from happening, but you can a baby, and that is the important thing. Can't ruin college for a child when they are smarter than that and items are available. I wouldn't be too upset about it Raph. Upset was if she came home and was pregeant.
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Post by tnwaltz on May 8, 2009 10:01:11 GMT -5
and... when you talk about condoms... tell her they aren't just for perventing pregnancy but for saving her life...
because when she has unprotected sex with just this one person... she is technically having unprotected sex with every person that one person has ever slept with.
and... no matter how much we don't want to believe it is so... people lie to us.
beyond that, be happy for her... she's in love... ;D
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Post by trueblue on May 8, 2009 11:08:26 GMT -5
I know it pains you like hell Raph and I'm sorry, but she's an adult now and has her own life to live. I agree that the best you can do is strongly advise her on birth control and condoms. You can't forbid her from being intimate with a guy she loves because then it will only seem that much more desirable and she could leave home.
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Post by Laura Rice on May 8, 2009 11:40:43 GMT -5
I'm agreeing with the rest of the gals Raph...
PROTECTION is VERY important!!
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Post by manlyman on May 8, 2009 12:38:48 GMT -5
Everything everyone has said here is spot on. I have a 17 year old daughter myself, so I know this day is coming (if it hasn't already, grrrr). I think what would bother me the most is if she were lying to me about where she is, when she would be coming home, who's she with. We have an understanding at home. Let us know the what, when, where, and why's. I am adamant about this. As long as you live under my roof, it's my house, my rules. I may not be happy sometimes with what I hear about what's going on in my childrens lives, but I'd rather hear the truth than find out they've been lying to me.
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Post by raphael on May 8, 2009 14:36:17 GMT -5
We have an understanding at home. Let us know the what, when, where, and why's. I am adamant about this. As long as you live under my roof, it's my house, my rules.We've pretty much had the same. But the problem is "I'm going to Brandis or Heathers house to spend the night." I've thought seriously about getting in the car and going over there or even calling but however I also thought if the kid found out then I would lose ALL trust whatsoever. I'll probably ask the wife to make sure she's using protection and just grit my teeth and bear it. Oh and thanks for the responses!
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Post by 502blue on May 8, 2009 14:48:38 GMT -5
Protection (for diseases) and birth control, do both!
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Post by bignana on May 8, 2009 17:39:03 GMT -5
Ralphy I feel for you. Been there done that and didn't like it, but it happens. The more you get angry and say things the worse it will get. Prayers are with you.
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